Stranger than Fiction
by VampLover1
Summary: A bored NJ housewife gets a little more excitement than she planned for when a certain fictional Viking makes a house call. Fluffy fantasy. Come read and have some fun! Spoilers for all 9 books. Rated M for "Jersey language". AU but with canon Eric.
1. Prologue

**Stranger than Fiction**

**Prologue**

I'm your typical suburban housewife: two kids, one dog, a very messy minivan, swing set in the back yard, and a modest two-story home. Overscheduled and underappreciated by my family. Fighting a losing battle to get back my figure, thanks to very little exercise and very bad eating habits. Rapidly approaching the big 4-0 and watching my libido, my memory, and my vision start to tank. Add in a loud Italian husband, nosy neighbors, some crazy girlfriends, and the fact that I live in New Jersey… and you have the perfect recipe for a TV sitcom.

Truth is, my life is pretty dull. I'm not miserable, mind you; maybe just ready for a little something to shake things up. Nothing too exciting ever seems to happen to me. In fact, the only activity that adds a little spice to my life these days is my monthly book club. I'm certainly no book-worm and our get-togethers are far from "scholarly" discussion, but it's something I really look forward to each month. Basically, a group of women similar to myself use reading as an excuse to hang out, drink margaritas, and bitch about our husbands, our kids, and our jobs. Oh, and we talk about books, too.

Each month we choose a different book to discuss for the next time. Our tastes lean toward romance, mystery, and popular fiction. Current favorites include Jodi Picoult, Janet Evanovich (_required_ reading if you're from Jersey) and Charlaine Harris. That last author, I might add, has been the catalyst for many big changes around here. We used to be a normal group of responsible wives and mothers, but Harris' Southern Vampire Mysteries (SVM) have transformed us into babbling, foolish, love-struck girls— SVM addicts desperate for a quick fix of vampire to get us through each day.

As we anxiously wait for the ninth book to come out next month, we are strongly at odds over which suitor is best for Sookie, the main character. My best friend Angela and I are aptly called "Eric lovers" because of our deep affection for the blonde and sexy badass vampire by that name. The remaining, and sadly misguided, group members favor vampire Bill, Sookie's first-love. This division among us has led to many heated debates and definitely has added some spunk to our get-togethers.

Our husbands are tolerant of our latest addiction, for the most part. Angela's husband, Sal, has had the roughest time of it, though. That's understandable, given that his wife spends all of her free time in Sookie-related activities. Sure, I adore the books and love the romance in them, but Angela has become absolutely obsessed. She constantly rereads the books, watches a cable TV adaptation, visits author and fan websites, and has even started writing something called 'Fan Fiction.' She can quote the books, chapters, and even page numbers for a specific reference or event; I consider her a walking encyclopedia of SVM knowledge.

Surprisingly, the stories have even managed to jump-start the sex lives for most of our group, and that's the real reason why our husbands have been so tolerant. But the more I read about Sookie and the excitement in her life (and in her bed), the more dissatisfied I feel about my own life. Strange, huh? Unless my husband Michael grows fangs and transforms into the beautiful Eric I envision in my reading, I can't help but feel a little disappointed in the bedroom these days. The perils of reading fiction, I guess.

Anyway, my current Sookie mania and my longing for more excitement are what led to the strange events I am about to share with you. My narrative is absolutely true, though I know that few people will believe it. But I swear it was not some dream or fantasy. All I ask is for you to keep an open mind…


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N:** If you are linking to this story from an author alert e-mail, please be sure to read the Prologue chapter first. Thanks!

**Chapter I**

Last week started out much like any other week. Monday morning arrived and my usual boring routine began: I threw on some sweats and a t-shirt, ran the kids to school late after a rushed breakfast, walked the dog, and started a load of laundry. I was carrying the laundry basket back to my bedroom when _it_ happened.

As I entered my room, I saw a big blonde-haired man lying across my bed. I didn't know if he was awake or not, alive or dead, but I was certainly not going to hang around to find out. So I did what any flustered woman finding a strange man in her bed would do: I screamed and ran for it. Dropping the basket, I scrambled down the stairs, my heart racing as I sprinted for the front door. But before I could make it to safety, a blur whizzed by me and I was lifted by my throat and forcibly pressed against the front foyer wall. Gasping for air, I tried to pry my assailant's fingers from my throat but he was much stronger than I was.

"Tell me where I am, witch!" he growled. "Who are you? Where is Sookie?" He glared at me with his ice cold blue eyes and tightened his grip on my throat.

"Jer...sey," I managed to croak out. "…Please…I…can't…. breathe..." I begged him.

He released my throat but grasped me tightly by both shoulders as he lifted me up, his face only inches from mine. He actually had _fangs_ showing, a fact which I couldn't even process at the time. I coughed and gasped, trying to gather my breath. He stared at me, like he was trying to size me up as I trembled before him.

"Jersey? As in _New_ Jersey?" he asked in disgust. Now I know people make fun of my home state but I don't understand why we get such a bad rap. Sure we have Newark, but we are 'The Garden State,' after all.

I nodded my reply and he released my shoulders, causing me to slump to the floor. He looked confused as he surveyed me and then my humble home's interior. I thought back to his questions and a light bulb suddenly went off in my head. I had calmed down enough by now to take in the stranger's appearance: tall beyond belief, long blonde hair, gorgeous build and face, fangs, and the mention of Sookie. This _had_ to be some elaborate practical joke that either my friends or my husband had engineered. It had been my 39th birthday this past weekend and someone probably thought it would be a cute 'gift' to make fun of my current vampire addiction.

This impersonator certainly fit the part of Eric completely; he was just as perfect as I imagined him in the books. If I hadn't been scared to death only moments ago, I probably would have enjoyed his performance a little more. And those fangs absolutely added a real touch. But the agency that sent him needed to monitor their actors' techniques a bit more closely. I could have really been hurt.

"Very funny, great job. You really had me going there for a minute," I said, trying to catch my breath. The adrenaline rush was finally fading. "Who hired you? Was it Angela? I'm going to kill her."

He simply stared at me.

"You are a fabulous-looking Eric but I have to tell you…. it's broad daylight and I think the whole 'vampire act' would have been more effective at night, don't you?"

The actor lunged for me again, lifting me about three feet off the ground. "So you _are_ a witch," he hissed. "You know my name and what I am… do tell me, what kind of spell have you used to bring me here and keep me awake in daylight? Hmm?" he asked coldly, sending a chill up my spine.

Beautiful actor or not, this guy was freaking creepy and _very_ strong. And he could seriously hurt me if he wanted to. I was starting to panic again.

"Please… let me go…. let's talk, okay? I can explain everything," I pleaded as my mind scrambled to come up with an escape plan. Actor/Psychopath man was obviously delusional, really thought he _was_ Eric the vampire, had broken into my house, and would probably kill me if I didn't tell him what he wanted to hear. The question was, _what_ did he want to hear?

"You will tell me the truth or your death will be a painful one," he said simply. Yep, definite psychopath here.

"I have to tell you, _Eric_," I said carefully, "I am not a witch, I can't do spells. I am just as surprised as you are about your sudden arrival in my bedroom." I took a big gulp and continued. "I mean you no harm, and you are free to leave anytime you wish."

Please, please, please, just leave.

"I am not going anywhere. Look at me," he said smoothly.

He released me so I could stand but I was drawn to those beautiful yet cold blue eyes. Before I knew it, I felt myself falling under his influence. I knew this must be some sort of hypnosis but I felt powerless to fight it. It was a strange sensation-- almost like being in a dream. I felt light-headed and calm.

"You will begin by telling me what you know about me and explain why you have brought me here, witch," he commanded, and I was unable to resist answering him.

"I am not a witch. And I don't know why or how you came to be here. All I know is that you think you are the fictional vampire Eric Northman, the sheriff of Area 5 who lives in Shreveport, owns Fangtasia, and who really loves Sookie."

Christ, I couldn't help myself. Once an Eric lover, always an Eric lover.

"_Fictional_?"

"Yes."

There was silence for a few moments and I guessed he was absorbing that fact. I continued to be held by his power.

"You do not believe I am a vampire? You do not think I am the _real_ Eric Northman?"

"No. There is no real Eric Northman." Sadly.

Again there was silence and I assumed he was thinking that over as well.

"I _am_ the vampire Eric Northman and I _am_ real. You _will_ believe me," he commanded.

"Yes," I agreed. I had no choice in the matter.

"How do you know the things you said about me? What do you know of my relationship with Sookie?"

"It's all in the books: your background, although to be honest I still don't know enough to suit me; your relationship and blood bond with Sookie; all of the other characters and Sookie's relationship with them. Of course, it's all told from her point of view."

Again there was silence. Looking back on it, I am sure this was a lot of unbelievable information for a fictional character to absorb. Especially a fictional character who didn't know he was fictional.

"What books? Do you have them here?" His voice sounded urgent now.

"Yes. There are eight of them, mostly in paperback. The last few are hardcover. The ninth one will be out in less than a month."

"You will show me these books immediately. You will remember everything from this discussion. You will do everything in your power to help me return home." And then he broke the contact between us.

I blinked my eyes, trying to adjust to the return of my own free will, and stood there gaping at the vampire before me. Everything we just talked about finally hit me. Damn! I had just been glamoured by Eric Northman! How freaking fantastic was that? He was _real_ and gorgeous and sexy/scary and standing just inches away, in _my_ house!

And I had no makeup on, looked like a total slob, and was at least fifteen pounds overweight. Shit! Why hadn't I done more to prepare for something like this??

************************

**A/N:** Okay, my wonderful husband (who reads my drafts) just wanted me to remind my readers that this is a _fictional_ work and that any references to the main character's lack of sexual fulfillment in the bedroom bear no real similarity to _my_ life. Are you happy now, honey?


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N**: I managed to get this chapter polished and ready faster than I had anticipated. So enjoy the Viking in NJ!

**Chapter 2**

I took in the whole package before me, from head to toe, and he was really magnificent. Perfect-fitting jeans, a tight black t-shirt that fit his sculpted muscles flawlessly. I could feel myself blushing as I thought about his supposed 'gracious plenty' and what he would look like without those clothes on. _Thank God_ I didn't end up with a character like Andy Bellefleur in my bedroom.

"The books…" he said, to catch my attention.

"Yes, of course," I said, a bit flustered.

He followed my shaky steps into the family room and I gathered the series off the bookcase shelves. "The last one is up in my bedroom, if you need that too," I said as I handed him the books. His fingers brushed mine during the book exchange and they felt cold yet electrifying to me. My blood pressure was close to stroke-inducing levels at this point and I thought I was going to have a heart attack just standing there next to him.

"There is no need to be frightened of me," he said comfortingly. "We both seem to be in an unusual situation. We must figure out how to set things right by helping one another."

The always practical vampire sheriff.

"I'm glad to help you in any way I can," I said sincerely. And I could certainly think of a few pleasurable ways I'd like for him to help me. Yum. "But hopefully we can get you back before my kids and husband get home," I added. "I think I would have a hard time explaining this situation."

"Yes, I must return as soon as possible. Sookie's life is at stake." I wondered which life-threatening situation from the books he was referring to. There were so many from which to choose.

"And who are you?" he asked politely. "You said you have a family?" Now that he knew I wasn't a witch and he had gotten the truth out of me, he seemed more cordial. And God, he was _so_ sexy.

"Um, Jennifer… Jennifer Callabro. Yes, I'm a full-time housewife and mother of two, and a part-time hairdresser, just for special occasions like weddings and bar mitzvahs." It took every ounce of self-control not to run my hairdresser hands through those beautiful locks of his.

"There is nothing more important than taking care of your husband and children," he said simply.

Was he complimenting me on being a housewife? Or was he criticizing my working? Hard to know.

"So, if you don't mind me asking, what happened before you ended up here?" I wondered.

"Compton managed to let those fucking fairies kidnap Sookie. When I return, I am going to kill him first."

Wow. I didn't remember Eric ever using the F-word before, except when describing what he wanted to do to Sookie. Lucky girl.

"Fairies? You mean Claude and Claudine?" I asked bewildered.

"No, the siblings Neave and Lochlan. Through the blood bond, I could feel Sookie's pain and fear at their torturous hands." He paused a moment and then looked like he had his own light bulb moment.

"You have read all of the books, yes? Tell me what happens! Where is she? How can I find her?! Does Breandan win?" Eric was getting quite worked up now.

"I don't know where she is, honest. I don't even know those names you mentioned." None of this made sense because I knew every plot point in the series. "Maybe it hasn't happened yet in the books."

He pondered my suggestion. "Do you know anything about the Fairy War? Have the Weres revealed themselves? Are Sookie and I married yet?"

Oh my God!!

"NO WAY!! You guys get married?? I'm so happy! So you must finally sleep together again if you're married, right? How was it?? Is there another shower scene?" I was beyond ecstatic.

He just glared at me and said nothing. I guess he wasn't the type to kiss and tell.

"Sorry," I muttered. "I got a little carried away. Um, no, none of those things have happened yet. But I was able to go online and read book nine's first chapter. The Weres 'come out' so the events you mention must all be part of the next book." Now I _really_ couldn't wait to read Dead and Gone.

"When is the next book available?"

"On May 5th."

"What is today's date?" he asked. I forgot that the Sookieverse wasn't caught up yet to my calendar. They were still back in 2006 or something like that.

"Monday, April 13th , 2009."

We still had a few more weeks to go before the official release date. And a snowball's chance in hell of getting an early copy.

"We must get that book right away. Who is the author? I will find this person and demand to know what happens," he said assuredly. "There will be no resistance. I _will_ find out what I want to know."

"Maybe that might work in _your_ world, but that ain't gonna fly here, I'm afraid."

"And why not? I have persuasive methods that will work in _any_ world," he said smugly.

The thought of Eric hunting down and torturing Charlaine Harris for information was more than I could bear. Time to change tactics.

"Tell me exactly how you ended up leaving your world. Maybe if we figure out how you got here, we can just reverse it, right?" I was trying to sound hopeful.

"Compton called to tell me of his failure to protect Sookie from the fairies. I immediately contacted Niall and we planned to meet and begin our hunt for the depraved creatures holding Sookie. I was almost paralyzed by the pain I felt from her through the bond. I could hear her calling to me in my mind, begging me to rescue her. But then the bond between us was severed and before I could search for her with Niall, I found myself in your bedroom. I can only hope that Niall was able to find her in time, before…" he trailed off.

He looked distraught now. He settled himself down on my couch, dropping the books on my coffee table.

"I will explain everything to Sookie when I return. She _will_ understand why I could not rescue her," he said, more to himself than to me. I sat down and tried to console a thousand-year-old vampire as best I could.

"Of course she will understand. Sookie is a very forgiving person." Well, not exactly true if you were to ask Bill or Quinn, her former lovers.

"And I'm sure she's fine. Sookie's very strong," I added. "She always seems to bounce back from whatever life hands her. Even when Bill raped her…"

Oops. The second the words left my mouth I knew I had royally screwed up. God, I am such an idiot sometimes! But if Eric was going to read the books, I guess he would find out anyway, right?

He stood up and loomed over me menacingly. "_What_ did you just say?" His words could have chilled a hot tub.

I immediately backpedaled, doing my best to soften what was a controversial event in the books.

"I don't even know if 'rape' is the right term here, okay? It was after Sookie rescued Bill from Lorena, and he was not himself, and he had been starved and tortured, remember?" I babbled.

"And they were locked in the trunk by that horrible Debbie Pelt, and when he woke up he was hungry and horny, but as soon as he realized what he did, he pulled out, and…"

I was absolutely making things worse, judging by Eric's blazing eyes and clenched fists. He was very scary-looking right now and I started trembling. Bill was going to be in very big trouble when Eric made it back to the Sookieverse. And Bill lovers around the world would despise me if they ever found out what I just told Eric.

"Compton will have _much_ to answer for when I return," he sneered. "Where can I read this? Which book?" he demanded.

I don't do well under pressure. Which book? You know this, Jennifer. Think! Which book?

"Um, Club Dead, that's the third one. Towards the end I guess. I can't tell you the exact chapter just off the top of my head. I have a friend who…"

BINGO! I needed to call Angela. She would know what do about everything. I'd have her come over and we could figure this out together. Besides, if the world's biggest Eric fanatic ever found out I was holding out on her, the aftermath would not be pretty.

I handed Eric the book and excused myself to make a phone call. Angela answered her cell phone on the second ring.

"What's up, Jen?" she asked.

"Oh, lots," I replied, trying to calm myself down. "And you wouldn't believe me if I told you, anyway. You have to come over as soon as possible. I _really_ need your help," I begged.

"This better be important. I was on my way to Hot Nails for my manicure," she replied.

"Oh, it's _very_ important. And let's just say you won't be disappointed."

"The last time you urgently needed me was for some lame-ass reason, Jennifer. Killing a fucking cockroach in your bathtub is _not_ what I consider an emergency," she said.

"It was a very big roach, Angela. And you know how I am when it comes to cockroaches." I got shivers down my spine just thinking about it.

"Give me a hint or I'm not coming," she threatened.

She was right. I needed to give her a real reason to come over. Missing her Monday morning nail appointment was not something to be taken lightly.

"It has to do with Eric," I admitted.

"Eric who? Grinaldi? From the coffee shop?"

"No! Eric _Northman_, from the books. He's real and he's here. At my house. In the flesh."

"What do you mean he's there at your house? Have you started early dementia? He's just a friggin' character from a book, for Christ's sake! Even _I_ have to accept that! I don't like it, but I accept it."

"Please, Angela, just come over. I'll explain everything when you get here, I promise. And you might want to put on some makeup first and a cute outfit."

"And bring your camera," I added.


	4. Chapter 3

_Thanks for the fun PM's and reviews! And I appreciate all of the author and story alerts. _

_And no, I cannot give out directions to my house for you to see Eric. But... if you have any burning questions you would like for me to ask him while he's chilling in the Garden State, I'll do my best to see if he can answer some in future chapters. He's been very chatty lately..._

_I do not own the rights to Charlaine Harris' stories or characters, by the way._

**Chapter 3**

When I returned downstairs, I was hoping the whole 'rape' topic would be yesterday's news. I found the books still piled on the cocktail table, Club Dead on top. Eric was standing by my family room windows, staring into my backyard. It was my first view of him from behind and… WOW. Sookie had been _so_ accurate in her assessment of his butt. First prize material.

I tried to get back to making polite conversation with my guest. "I know it's not much," I said, referring to the landscape. "But the newer houses down the block have even smaller lots. I'm just happy the swing set fits."

"I was admiring the sunlight," he said, without turning back. "It has been over a thousand years since I roamed free in the daylight."

"Well, you're welcome to go outside, you know. Just watch where you walk in the yard. There's dog poop everywhere." It might not have been the most exciting discussion to be having with Eric, but I thought he would appreciate the honesty.

"The magic that has brought me here is hard to understand. I am uncertain of all of its effects." He paused for a moment, as if trying to decide what to do next.

"I will slowly expose myself to the light outside to see what happens," he said. I certainly wouldn't have minded if he slowly exposed himself indoors, either.

He walked to the patio door, opened it, but stood rooted at the entrance.

"I cannot pass through this door to the outside."

Was he scared? "Just take a little step and if you feel any burning you can quickly step back inside," I suggested.

"No, I mean I am physically unable to move past this boundary. I am trying to step forward but there is an invisible force restraining me."

"Maybe it's just at this door. We could try the front door, right?" So we tried that but we both knew in our hearts that it wasn't going to work.

Well this was a real complication. Eric would have to remain a prisoner in my house until he could return to his world (if ever!). At least Charlaine Harris was safe now from Eric's 'persuasive methods.'

He started pacing through the house, obviously unhappy about this latest development. I settled myself back on the couch, trying to think about what to do next. Angela would be here shortly so maybe she would have a good suggestion or two.

When he returned to the family room, I asked him about other side effects of the magic.

"Do you have urges? I mean, are you hungry?" I was in BIG trouble if he actually needed blood. True Blood, the synthetic vampire drink in the series, hadn't been invented in _my_ world. I would have to rob a blood bank or something. Or maybe he would want fresh… uh oh.

"No. Right now I don't feel the need for blood… or sex, which is unusual for me," he added, giving me a sly smile. "The bond with Sookie is gone as well," he said more seriously.

"I'm sure the bond will return as soon as you go back. Any other things you noticed?"

"Since daylight does not bother me, I wonder if silver will have any effect either."

"There are some silver pieces in my dining room breakfront if you want to see what happens," I said.

"Yes, that's a very good idea, Jennifer." Mmm. He had finally said my name and hearing it roll off his tongue was almost orgasmic.

I accompanied him to the dining room and found a silver cake server in one of the drawers. He took the tarnished serving piece and gently placed it against his forearm but nothing happened. No sizzle, no marks, nothing. Then he surprised me by taking the cake server's edge and pressing down hard enough to slice his skin open. I could see a small amount of his blood sluggishly ooze out, which he licked, and then the cut began to heal itself right in front of my eyes.

It's one thing to read about it and another to actually watch it happen. I was astonished, to say the least.

The doorbell rang at that moment. It had to be Angela.

"I hope you don't mind that I invited my friend. She knows even more than I do about the books and I thought she could be helpful. Although I doubt she'll believe any of this, of course," I said.

"I'm sure she'll believe _me_," he replied smoothly as he gestured towards the front door.

"No glamour, okay? And I think it's best if you wait back in the family room, Eric. She might need to get used to the idea first." I wondered how I was ever going to convince Angela without Eric's influence.

"Just a warning, though," I added. "She's a bit of a character." I chuckled because it was funny to be telling a fictional character that a real person was… well, you get the irony, I suppose.

"I can handle her," he said confidently as he headed towards the back of the house.

The doorbell rang again and I walked over to the front door and opened it wide. There stood my best friend in an outfit that practically screamed 'Jersey slut'—short, black leather skirt; a tight leopard-spotted halter top with way too much breast hanging out; and black high-heeled boots with rhinestones on the side. She was heavily made-up and her frizzy black hair was pulled back in a big banana clip. She was chomping on some bubble gum and, of course, her long acrylic nails were still in need of a fill-in.

"Here I am," she announced, popping her gum. "So where's the friggin' fire? God, you look like shit, Jennifer."

Angela is a blunt, no-nonsense Jersey girl who frequently curses like a sailor. But she's a great friend.

"I know, I know. I haven't showered yet this morning. I've been kind of busy. Come in," I said, and she followed me into the foyer.

"Before I introduce you to Eric, I want you to know that this is not a joke. He just 'poofed' into my bedroom this morning and I don't know how to get him back to the Sookieverse. And he told me that Sookie is in some real trouble with fairies this time, or I guess she _will _be in real trouble, since the next book isn't out yet."

Angela just looked at me like I had lost my mind.

"So, are you ready to meet him?" There was no point in delaying this since the only thing I had convinced Angela of was my madness. She followed me into the family room, shaking her head in disbelief at her crazy best friend.

Angela's jaw dropped to the floor when she saw beautiful Eric standing there, waiting for us. I was certain she still didn't believe it was really _the_ Eric, but who could blame her? It _was_ hard to believe.

"Hel-_lo_ there!" she purred, in her most sex-kitteny way. She sauntered over to Eric, clicking her boot heels on my hardwoods. "Angela DelVecchio, at your service," she giggled as she extended her hand in greeting.

Ever the gentleman, Eric reached out for her hand, then caressed and gently kissed it. As he raised his head to meet her eyes, he gave his trademark grin, complete with fangs. The look on her face was priceless as she gasped and pulled her hand back.

"Eric Northman, at _your_ service," he purred back. I think Angela swallowed her gum.

"I... I… don't believe it," she stammered and I wished I had remembered to get Angela's camera for this Kodak moment.

"Who... who… are you really?" She looked from me to him, taking in his features from top to bottom. Her eyes widened, and she started hyperventilating.

"Calm down, Angela, or you're going to faint! Here, sit down" I said, as I guided her to the couch. "Do you need a paper bag?" I asked, and she shook her head no.

"Drink," she gasped.

"Do you want me to glamour her? That would be easiest," Eric suggested.

"No! Just let me handle this, okay? Did you _have_ to start out with the fangs? Huh? I _told_ you this would be a little overwhelming for her. She's probably your biggest fan in the tri-state area, if not the entire Northeast region, and this is more than she can manage."

I stomped off to get a glass of water and when I returned, Eric was sitting next to Angela on the couch, holding her hand and calming her down. I handed her the water and she took the glass with one shaky hand. Understandably, she didn't want to release her other hand from Eric's grip.

After a few sips she seemed to relax a little.

"Are you alright, now?" I asked.

"Yeah, I just can't friggin' believe that I'm sitting next to Eric Northman! Man, you are _so _fucking hot!"

Eric just smiled like he was used to this kind of reaction.

"So how the hell did you end up in Jersey? And why Jennifer's house?"

…_And not mine?_ was the unspoken ending to that sentence. Angela seemed confused as to why Eric would bypass his most devoted groupie to poof into _my_ boring life instead. As if he had a choice.

"Yes, that is a very pertinent question, Angela," Eric said. I could see her having the same semi-orgasmic reaction as I did earlier when hearing her name cross his lips.

He continued unfazed. "It appears that some type of magic from _your_ world has brought me here. Something that must have originated with Jennifer, since this is where I have 'landed,' so to speak."

Me? What kind of magic could _I_ have done? The last 'magical' thing I accomplished was making it to both my son's baseball game and daughter's ballet recital on the same evening. Despite a flat tire. And major cramping. When my husband was out of town on business.

Truly _magical_, right?


	5. Chapter 4

_Long chapter ahead! I hope you have as much fun reading this as I had writing it! _

**Chapter 4**

"I don't know what _I_ could have done to cause this," I said a bit defensively. "You said there were some bad fairies after Sookie, right? Maybe they used their magic to stop you from helping her by sending you to New Jersey," I suggested. It sounded plausible to me, even if it was an utterly ridiculous idea.

"Bad fairies?" Angela asked.

Eric quickly filled her in on the events leading up to his unexpected appearance in my bedroom. He told us more details about the Fairy War and Niall; we were both shocked and concerned.

"Fucking fairies," she said, and Eric and I agreed.

"Jennifer, try to think back to anything you might have done or said that could have brought me here," Eric encouraged. "Do any witches live here? Do you know anyone who wanted to hurt you?"

Or help me, depending on how you looked at it.

"No… no one I can think of…"

We all sat there quietly, trying to come up with some ground-breaking explanation. Then Angela broke the silence.

"Your birthday! Yesterday night when we all went out for dinner, Jen! Did you make a wish on your candle?" she asked excitedly.

"Well, I didn't wish for Eric Northman to appear, if that's what you mean," I huffed.

I thought back to the Chinese food we had eaten last night at the new restaurant in town. My book club gang had taken me out to celebrate and then sang to me over one lit candle in my orange sherbet. Do we know how to party or what?

"What did you wish for?" Eric asked.

"I don't know. Something general like, 'more excitement in my life'," I said. "Does this qualify?"

Angela and I looked to Eric questioningly.

"I suppose your wish might have ignited all of this, but most likely there was some _other_ magic at work to bring it to fruition. Why else would I have appeared this morning rather than last night at the time the wish was made?" he wondered aloud. A very good point.

"Maybe it takes time for the wish to work?" Angela suggested.

We all pondered that for a while before I decided to finally excuse myself to freshen up. It had been a crazy morning and a shower was definitely in order.

"Eric, ask Angela anything you want to know about the books and other characters. She can help you find the information you might need. Oh, and fill her in about events in the next book, like you getting married to Sookie," I added with a wink to Angela.

"Married!?" she screamed. "You're shittin' me!"

I looked over at Eric before I left them alone to chat and I could swear he rolled his eyes. I ran up the stairs and tried to make sense of my jumbled thoughts while the hot shower water rained down on me.

What _other_ magic could Eric have meant? Could a birthday wish really have started something like this? Maybe I could simply 'unwish' it. That would be too easy but it was certainly worth a shot. And then what would I do if that didn't work? It was almost lunch time by now and my kids would be home in a few hours. How would I explain the sexy blonde stranger in our house? There was no place to hide him, other than the attic, I guess. He couldn't leave the boundaries of my house so even Angela would be unable to help take him for a while (she would be so disappointed!) And what about Michael? He would be home around 7:00. What could I possibly tell him? How understanding could a husband be about something like this, anyway?

I decided to shave my legs. You never know, that's all I'm saying.

I tried on at least five outfits before I found something that sort of hid my belly fat and made me look less slutty than Angela did. I was definitely starting an exercise routine tomorrow.

By the time I had made my hair and face presentable, I was starving. I had skipped breakfast again in my mad rush out the door with the kids. And the fortune cookie I had wolfed down earlier was no substitute for a real meal, as my growling stomach could confirm. I microwaved some leftover Hunan Chicken and Beef Lo Mein, bringing the two plates into the family room. I figured Angela might want some lunch, too.

I found the two of them skimming through some of the books, trying to locate particular passages.

"I'm pretty sure that the part where they have contact sex is in Chapter 2 of All Together Dead. Try page 34 or 35. The other time was just dry humping in her cousin Hadley's apartment, if you want to read about that. Earlier book-- Definitely Dead -- end of Chapter 19, I believe. Right before they get kidnapped by the Weres."

Eric had a tight look on his face as he searched for the passages she recommended.

"Angela, may I have a word with you, please? Now!" I stomped off into the kitchen with the Chinese food and waited for her to follow me. I tried to calm myself down before I exploded.

"Angela! What are you telling him?!"

"Don't get all bitchy on me… what was I supposed to do? You _told_ him to ask me anything, right? And he wanted to know if Sookie and Quinn had sex. Was I supposed to lie to him?"

"Yes! You know how violent and possessive Eric can be; he should be on a 'need-to-know' basis about certain things."

"With the way things are going, he'll have plenty of time to read the whole damn series, and then he'll _know_ everything, whether he needs to or not!"

"Well _I_ don't have plenty of time. We have to figure out how to get him back and _soon_," I said as I slumped down into a kitchen chair.

"You know he can hear everything we're saying, right? Vampire hearing," Angela reminded me.

I nodded and jumped up to grab a pad of paper and a pen.

_Don't ever tell Eric that Sookie can _

_sometimes read vampire minds, okay?_

_That could turn out really badly for her._

Angela nodded in agreement to what I had written. She grabbed the pen and paper.

_Do you think having sex with a fictional character_

_would still count as adultery?_

"Yes, of course it would," I said aloud and sighed. She scribbled some more.

_I don't care. If there ever was someone I'd want to break _

_my wedding vows with, it would be Eric. _

_Anyways, I could go to confession afterwards._

"We'll talk about this later," I whispered. "Are you hungry? I have some leftover Chinese food I heated up. It's probably cold by now," I said in my normal voice.

Angela and I ate our lunch quietly and I assumed Eric was catching up on his reading in the other room. I didn't hear him cursing or the sound of anything breaking, so I figured he was handling the new information well. How strange it must be to read about yourself, especially from another person's point of view.

"Did you know that Eric had a wife and kids when he was human?" Angela said. "I asked him about it. And Sookie and Eric are not _legally_ married; it's some vampire 'pledging' tradition. He wouldn't tell me how it all came about; but knowing how stubborn Sookie is, I bet he must have tricked her into it. It will all be in the next book."

"Stop. Don't tell me anything else," I replied. "I've been waiting forever for this next release date and now I feel like Dead and Gone is ruined for me," I said dejectedly.

"Think how ruined it will be for _everyone_ if Sookie is killed because Eric is stuck in _your_ friggin' house!"

"Thanks, Angela. That really makes me feel better." She could be such a bitch sometimes.

"Am I interrupting anything, ladies?" Eric asked as he entered the kitchen and joined us at the table.

"No, just finishing lunch," I said. "I'm sorry I don't have anything to offer you. You're still not hungry, right?" I asked, a little worried.

"Right," he said.

"Do you mind if I ask you something, Eric?" I was slowly gaining more courage around him.

"I don't mind you asking but I may not answer," he replied coolly. He was as crafty as Charlaine Harris.

"I think I speak for many readers in wondering about this," I said and took a deep breath.

"What foreign language were you speaking to Sookie after you made love for the first time? You know, during the time you had amnesia and stayed with her. What did you say to her? Do you remember?"

Of course, that last question about his memory now gave him the perfect out if he didn't want to tell us.

"Oh, my God, yes! Please, please, Eric!" Angela begged. She sounded like she was going to climax.

He looked at us, as if deciding whether we were worthy of such knowledge. He said nothing and we both just waited patiently, hoping and praying he would give in to our burning curiosity.

"It is Old Swedish and translates roughly as 'my beloved, my heart, my dearest lover'."

Angela and I were more than satisfied with his answer. It was so beautiful, so romantic, so perfect. Angela looked like she was going to cry and I felt my eyes misting over.

Pragmatic Eric brought us back to reality.

"Jennifer, the first thing we must try to do is have you light another candle and make a new wish. Maybe it will be as simple as that."

"Okay," I said, wiping away a little teardrop, and I went to the junk drawer to find a candle and some matches.

"Do you have any coffee cake?" Angela sniffled. "Put the candle in a piece of cake."

The New Jersey solution to life's problems always involves coffee cake. Janet Evanovich is so right about that.

I cut a piece of the cake, placed it on a plate and pushed in a candle.

"So do I simply wish for my life to be _unexciting_?" I asked.

"Naw, too many things could go wrong with that kinda wish," Angela said. "I would be more specific. Something like, 'I wish Eric was back in the Sookieverse'," she suggested.

I'm superstitious enough to know that you don't say a wish out loud so I practiced saying a new wish in my head. We said our goodbyes to Eric, in case this worked by some miracle. He let both of us hug him farewell, a very generous gesture, and I lit the candle.

I closed my eyes and silently wished for the safe return of Eric and the rescue of Sookie. And I might have added in a little extra about the two of them living happily ever after. I blew out a big breath, hoping I didn't miss my mark, and then opened my eyes.

Both Angela and Eric sat there, staring back at me. Plan A was a failure.

"Maybe it will still happen," Angela said hopefully. "Wasn't it, like, twelve hours after you made the first wish before it came true?"

I didn't have twelve hours. And neither did Sookie, I supposed. What _other_ magic could be at work here?

Guess we needed to move on to Plan B. Whatever that might be.

****************************************

**A/N**: So tell me… would _you_ break your wedding vows if Mr. Northman were to appear in your bedroom one morning? Must I even ask??


	6. Chapter 5

_Thanks so much for the many reviews and comments. Sorry if I didn't get to personally respond to you this time, but I have been busy writing! Please keep your reviews coming, though-- I absolutely **love** them! They make me laugh and really encourage me to keep at it! BTW, most married readers out there seemed reluctant to actually break their wedding vows for the sexy Mr. Northman -- or else they wouldn't comment for fear of incrimination! :) And a few people asked me what **I** would do in this situation. I guess I'm of a similar mind to my main character, Jennifer... and what would **she** do? Well, read on..._

**Chapter 5**

Tick tock. Tick tock. Time was creeping along and we were no closer to a solution.

Eric kept pacing around the house, periodically stopping to skim a chapter or two from a book. He seemed most interested in Dead to the World, my personal favorite. I guess it was a good way for him to revisit his forgotten memories of his time with Sookie. Occasionally I would hear him mumble something to himself about 'Hallow's damn spell' after thumbing through a passage, but I figured it wasn't anything to worry about.

I, however, would need to pick up my kids from school shortly and that _was_ something to worry about.

"What am I going to tell them?" I asked Angela.

We were both upstairs in my bedroom at this point, supposedly looking for the eighth book for Eric. But really we just wanted a place to talk privately, away from vampire hearing.

"Lie to them. I do it all the time with Chrissy and Sal junior. Kids will believe anything you tell them," she said.

"But I'm a terrible liar. They'll never believe me." Mainly because my kids are much sharper than hers, but I didn't feel the need to say that out loud.

"Just tell them he's the plumber. Keep Eric in your bathroom-- he likes showers," she said with a smile.

I laughed at the very idea. Eric Northman could _never_ be mistaken for a plumber and even my kids would realize that. Hell, even _Angela's_ kids would realize that. I chuckled at the thought of Eric dressed as the stereotypical plumber, pants riding low in the back, butt crack exposed... what a treat he would be for his customers!

"Speaking of showers," she continued, "what do ya think about Eric and me steaming up _your_ shower for a while? Have you seen the flirty looks he keeps giving me? And I caught him looking at my boobs a few times."

Give me a break.

"What makes you think he would have sex with you, Angela? Somehow I don't think we're his type," I huffed. "And we both have husbands, in case you forgot."

"Speak for yourself! _I_ still know how to 'work it,' baby. Besides, you're telling me that if Eric showed any interest in fucking you, you would _actually_ turn him down??" she asked in shock.

Of course, _that_ situation would never happen unless 'frumpy' was his type. So I didn't expect my willpower to be put to the test.

"Yes, I would turn him down."

"What?! You're friggin' crazy, Jennifer! The world's sexiest character materializes in _your __bedroom_, for Christ's sake, and you wouldn't sleep with him if you had the chance? Why the hell not? When's the next time something like this is gonna happen??" she yelled.

Never.

"You know, Angela, it's one thing to swoon and fantasize about a hot guy and it's another thing to act on it. Do you think the _married_ Eric lovers of the world would really sleep with him if they had the chance?"

"Of course they would!" she said incredulously.

I tried to ignore her gaping at me.

"Besides, Eric and Sookie are now married or pledged, or whatever you want to call it, and I respect that. I'm sure he wouldn't cheat on her. And anyways, I would feel like I was hurting Sookie, as well as Michael, if I did something sexual with Eric."

"What?!" She looked like she was going to have a stroke.

I thought about how I wanted to phrase this. "I mean, I've waited so long for Sookie to find happiness and be together with Eric; I'd feel so _guilty _if I was the cause of problems between them now."

I'm seventy-five percent Italian Catholic and twenty-five percent Jewish. Guilt is part of my DNA and what I don't feel naturally, my mother loads on for me.

Angela sighed and rolled her eyes, and we just stared at one another. I really wasn't judging her nor did I think I was morally superior. But I couldn't help the way I felt. Maybe if I ever actually faced that (highly unlikely) situation with Eric, I would change my mind. Maybe.

I anticipated this issue coming up for discussion at our next book club meeting.

Our conversation was going nowhere fast and time was of the essence. I picked up the copy of From Dead to Worse sitting on my nightstand. I had been rereading it in preparation for book nine's new release.

"I need to get this book to Eric," I said to Angela abruptly and headed back downstairs.

I found my vampire guest back in the dining room with the silver cake server. He was scraping it up and down his arm.

"I was trying to see if anything had changed," he said when he noticed me. "It might indicate if your new wish had started to take effect."

"No changes?" I asked, seeing the obvious answer. He shook his head, his beautiful blonde hair swinging as he did so.

"I tried the patio door, as well. The barrier feels similar to when I need an invitation to enter a dwelling. Perhaps I need to be invited _out_," he suggested.

That was an interesting idea. So we walked to the patio door and I stepped outside, leaving the door wide open.

"Eric, I invite you to come _in_, or in this case, _out_," I said, trying not to sound too stupid. That kind of stuff sounded much better in the books, I thought.

He tried to pass the threshold but still remained rooted to the spot. Angela had rejoined us by now.

"He can't leave the house?" she asked in astonishment. "He has to stay _here_?" I knew she would be disappointed that she couldn't fill in as part-time hostess for our guest.

"I was hoping he would speak at our next book club meeting," Angela whined.

"I am afraid I am Jennifer's guest for as long as this magic lasts," Eric stated matter-of-factly. I gulped when I thought about how long that might actually be.

We spent the next hour or so discussing events from the books and from Eric's life. He was actually in a _sharing_ mood, so Angela and I took full advantage of the opportunity.

"Have you ever been blood-bonded to anyone else?" Angela asked, popping a new piece of gum. "Or is that too personal?"

"Yes," he replied.

Yes to which question? Both?

"What the fuck does that mean?" Angela blurted out.

"Ms. DelVecchio, you and that mouth of yours… I must say that your vocabulary is simply _exquisite_. Is that 'classical' New Jersey?" Sarcastic smart-ass vampire.

"I actually grew up in Brooklyn. And yeah, I know I'm bad. Sorry if it offends. As a kid, I was always gettin' my mouth washed with soap as punishment," she said.

She looked at Eric for a moment before playfully adding, "And I'm _still_ such a bad, bad girl with my mouth. Do ya know a punishment that might work better on me?"

Oh my God, was I hearing her correctly?

She seductively smiled at Eric, then slowly licked her lips before blowing a huge bubble and popping it. Classy.

Thankfully, Eric had the decency to politely ignore her sad attempt at seduction and chose to answer her earlier questions instead.

"I have not let any woman, other than Sookie, drink from me since I turned Pam. Before I made my child, I was blood-bonded only once before, to a human woman in the late 1600's," he admitted.

Angela and I held our breaths, waiting for him to continue.

"We shared a deep connection for many years before she eventually succumbed to old age," he said wistfully.

"So you never turned her?" Angela asked. "Did ya want to?"

"I would have only turned her if she wished it so. And she did not," he said quietly. "She died a natural death."

"How old was she when she died?" I asked him delicately.

"Human life expectancy back then was shorter than what you would anticipate today, of course. I would guess she was close to sixty years of age." We were all quiet for a few minutes after that.

The fact that Eric could care deeply about his bonded, long past the beauty of her youth, spoke volumes to me about his character. And it gave me new hope that Eric and Sookie _could_ have a long-term relationship, despite her normal aging.

"So tell me, ladies," Eric said, bringing up a different subject. "What really happened to Andre?"

Delicate topic alert!

"He died in the bombing at Rhodes. You know that, Eric," I said, discreetly nudging Angela a bit so she'd keep her big mouth shut.

"Sookie recently admitted to me that Andre was staked. Did _she_ do it?"

"No!" we both responded in unison.

"And…." he said and waited.

"Quinn did it when he thought Sookie had already left the scene," Angela volunteered. "Look in All Together Dead—and you'll see the tricky way Charlaine Harris wrote about it. Try maybe page 294 for the set-up and around page 322 for the actual description."

"Quinn doesn't know that Sookie knows what he did for her," I added. At least I didn't think so. I try not to think about Quinn.

I held my breath, hoping there would be no fallout.

"I suspected something but I didn't push Sookie to tell me more. No matter. It is good that Andre is gone."

Angela and I wholeheartedly agreed.

"And where is the final book? Where can I read about the final death of Seigbert?" Eric asked.

I noticed he didn't call that last part 'my rescue by Sookie yet again,' so I figured it was still a sensitive issue for him. I'm sure it wounded his pride to have to be rescued by anyone.

Angela showed him the specific pages in both books and we all sat a while longer as Eric read the passages. He looked tense but said nothing more to us.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

Eric began pacing again and I, too, became restless. Excusing myself from the family room, I headed for the kitchen. I could faintly hear Angela asking Eric if she could take a picture of him naked. I could only imagine his response.

My kitchen was quite the mess. I finally started cleaning up the dirty dishes from breakfast and lunch and then fed the dog. He had been hiding most of the day, something quite unusual for him. Maybe he didn't like vampires.

As I wiped down the counters, I gathered an empty Pop Tart box and the plastic wrapper from this morning's fortune cookie.

And that's when it finally dawned on me.

I quickly looked through the garbage in my hand and turned the paper fortune over with trembling fingers. It simply stated:

_Your wish will be fulfilled._

The _other _magic. I think we finally had a Plan B.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Eric! Angela!" I screamed. "Come quick! I figured it out!"

They were both in the kitchen within moments and I told them about my fortune cookie theory.

"And you opened the package this morning? What time?" Eric asked quickly.

"It was about 8:00, when I was walking out the door with the kids. I just threw the wrapper and fortune on the counter. I never even bothered to read it. And I ate the cookie in the car since we were so late," I explained, trying to justify my poor eating habits.

"That would coincide with the time I appeared in your bedroom this morning. Breaking open that cookie made last night's wish come true," Eric said. "Reading the fortune was not even necessary."

"So how the hell can we make it happen again?" Angela asked.

"I would assume that your 'reverse' wish from earlier today is still waiting to be granted," Eric explained. "If you could open another fortune like this one, perhaps the magic might work again."

Easier said than done. What was I supposed to do? Go back to the Chinese restaurant and ask them if they had any more 'magic' fortune cookies?

"I think we should go back to the Chinese restaurant and ask them for some more fortune cookies," Angela said.

"Yes," Eric agreed. "And you will need to convince them to sell you every fortune cookie that they have in stock." I sure hoped Eric's wallet had been poofed along with him.

"But what are the odds of finding another cookie with the same fortune?" I asked.

We all knew that the correct answer was '_slim' _but we had to try it, anyway. At least we would be doing something other than pacing around the house or talking about Quinn.

"It _will_ work, I am sure of it," Eric said confidently and my spirits were lifted a little.

It was getting close to school dismissal time by now and I needed my kids elsewhere so I could start my big fortune cookie hunt.

"Angela, how about you pick up all of our kids from school and bring them back to your house, okay?" I asked. "I'll run over to the restaurant and buy the cookies. Then Eric and I will open them and try to get him back home before Michael returns from work."

It sounded like a good plan to me. I also thought it best that Angela should go home at this point. Hunting through tons of fortune cookies with Angela would be more like a wacky 'Lucy and Ethel' routine than a truly productive search.

Maybe I just wanted some alone time with the vampire before he was gone.

Angela didn't seem too thrilled with 'the plan' but when Eric agreed with me, she didn't have much choice in the matter. It looked like she wouldn't be showering with Eric today after all.

"Fine," she muttered. "But you have until suppertime, Jen. The last thing Sal needs when he gets home from work is a house full of crazy, screaming kids." Besides her own, she meant.

Angela said her farewells to Eric, yet again, but this time it seemed more final.

"If this works and I don't see you again Eric, I just want to say a few things before I go."

Angela looked to him and he nodded his approval. She cleared her throat.

"First, you need to ask Sookie to go out dancing. Like on a date, Eric. She's a really good dancer. You two were friggin' great together at the Rhodes ball."

"Next, invite her over to see your house sometime, okay? Readers around the world are wondering what your damn house looks like, inside and out."

"Third, please just try to make Sookie happy; she deserves it. Don't make decisions for her. You need to lighten up on that possessive 'she's mine' shit-- she's an independent, modern woman. Remember that."

"And last, please don't ever turn Sookie into a vampire. She would hate that more than anything. And after hearing you speak about your last blood-bond, I know you won't do it."

Eric looked at her intently and if he was annoyed or offended by her statements, he kept it well hidden. In fact, I was pretty damn impressed with his self-control. I often found myself wanting to strangle Angela.

"I will take your suggestions under consideration," he said with a wink and it was really the best we could hope for.

He then walked over to Angela, tilted her chin up as he leaned down, and gently placed a soft goodbye kiss on her lips. I thought that Angela would collapse but she remained upright, despite a slight swaying in her legs.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Angela. Thank you for being such a devoted fan," he said smoothly. She softly moaned and then blushed bright scarlet before she hightailed it out of there. Eric and I were left standing alone in the kitchen.

"That was so nice of you, Eric."

"What?" he asked innocently.

"You know _what_-- the way you just said goodbye to Angela, the way you acted around her today. You have made her very happy." Although he could have made her _much_ happier in the shower.

He smiled at me, putting a long, icy finger to my lips. "Shh... don't tell anyone or it will ruin my reputation," he laughed. It took every ounce of my resolve not to bite, lick, or suck on that lovely finger.

He removed it, thank God, and then there was an awkward silence as we both looked at each other.

"So tell me how I can make _you_ happy, Jennifer."

I could feel my heart beating faster than a hummingbird's wings. I was unsure of how to answer him.

"Me? I'm happy," I said unconvincingly, as my legs turned to jelly.

"Are you?"

"Of course I am." He waited for me to elaborate.

"I have a great family and a great dog, and they love and need me; I'm a successful occasional part-time hairdresser; I have fun friends who like to read the same things as me; and… and…"

I hesitated, struggling to think of another thing in my life that made me happy. Sadly, nothing really stood out. The best I could come up with was that I now had lighter periods, but I didn't think that reason would be a good enough one to convince Eric of my happiness.

He just looked at me, expecting me to say more. I didn't.

"So what led you to make that wish?" he asked, his cool blue eyes staring intently at me.

Uh oh.

"I guess I just wanted more excitement-- in my marriage, in everyday life. I mean, I know it's normal for things to get a little dull after so many years together, right? Lust only lasts for so long. Love is what's important, right?" I babbled, feeling the color rise in my cheeks.

"Maybe I could help you with your wish," he said simply.

Oh shit. What did he mean?

"How?" I gulped. "Are…are you going to bite me or something?" I was both scared and excited about where this conversation was heading.

"No, I am pledged to Sookie and will not drink from another." At least one of us still had some willpower left.

He paused for a moment. "But I will allow you to bite _me_," he said with a grand gesture. He seemed so proud of his offer.

"Um... _why_ would you do that?" I asked him, stunned. I knew this was a very generous proposition on his part and that I should feel flattered. But drinking blood, even Eric's, was not high on my list of 'Amazing Things to Do Before I Die.'

"Consider it a 'thank-you gift' from me to you," he said.

"But why would you need to thank _me_?" I asked, bewildered. "I'm the reason you're stuck here. And I'm truly sorry for that, Eric. I know it isn't a very good time for you to be away from Sookie."

"Yes, the timing is unfortunate, but do not be sorry, Jennifer. You could not have anticipated what your simple wish would bring you." Amen.

"Without my usual vampire urges, I have felt almost 'human' again today, which is remarkable. I am thankful for that. And I have immensely enjoyed seeing daylight again. And, of course, seeing New Jersey," he added with a wicked grin. I laughed.

"But mostly, I appreciate your genuine concern for me and for Sookie. Thank you."

"You're welcome," I responded, unsure of what else to say after hearing something so touching and real come from a fictional character.

"Will you accept my offer, then? My blood will make you feel better in ways you cannot even imagine, Jennifer. And it will provide you the 'excitement' you crave, especially in the bedroom," he smirked. "It will make your husband _very_ happy."

How could I resist this gorgeous creature when he put it like that? It would be insulting to refuse him, after all. Doing this would be for the betterment of my marriage, after all. And I wouldn't feel guilty and have to go to confession, after all.

Besides-- Angela would always have that lovely kiss from Eric to remember. What would _I_ have from Eric to remember? His blood. WOW.

"Yes, I would like that," I agreed, although I was a little shaky about what I had just committed myself to doing. I looked at my watch and panicked as I realized the passing time.

It was now or never.

*******************************

**A/N:** Look for the final chapter in a day or two. There's only so long you can stay in Jersey, ya know?


	8. Chapter 7

_A long, final chapter for 'yous guys'-- Thanks again for the support and reviews. Enjoy! _

**Chapter 7**

"Okay, so how do we do this?" I asked my vampire guest.

I was only familiar with blood-sucking protocol from what I had read in the SVM books or seen on the cable series. Those instances were either during (a) sex or (b) life-threatening situations. Since my bizarre circumstances fit into neither of those two categories, I wasn't quite sure how to proceed. Did I just walk up to Eric's shoulder and chomp down? Did I let him bite himself and offer his blood to me? I decided to defer to the expert.

"First, you must relax. I'm not going to bite," he chuckled, and his humor lightened the situation. I had to admit that was funny.

"This would be more comfortable on your couch," he suggested. And more intimate, in my opinion. We walked back to the family room yet again (at least I was getting some exercise today), and we settled side by side on my fake-leather sofa.

I was uptight about the idea of drinking blood. Sure, it seemed sexy and dangerous in fiction, but in real life? Yuck. My heart was racing and I could feel myself tensing with anticipation. Eric could sense my nervousness, so he held and squeezed my hand, telling me not to worry.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Jennifer? I only offered my blood as a way to help you," he said comfortingly.

Eric was so damn sexy when he was sweet like this. And I loved him holding my hand. I found the vampire before me _more _attractive than ever, as impossible as that sounds.

"Yes, I want this. Just hurry, please," I begged before I could change my mind.

Still holding my hand with one of his, he took his free arm and bit down hard on his wrist. I heard a crunching sound and I watched in morbid fascination as he moved his bloodied mouth and fangs away from the bite. He held up his dripping wrist close to my mouth, waiting for me to latch on.

I hesitantly leaned forward, unable to bring myself to move the final inch to reach his bloody offering. So he brought his wrist to me and, in an attempt to get the process started, gently pressed it against my mouth. How helpful.

I tenderly sucked on the wound at first, not quite sure of what I was doing. The taste was somewhat metallic, and I tried to imagine I was eating (clotty) Haagen-Dazs mocha chip ice cream so I could get past my squeamishness. I gagged the first time I tried to swallow but Eric's silky voice told me to relax and I was able to continue, despite my anxiety. It seemed so much easier, sexier, and less messy in the books.

I closed my eyes to try and calm down and could feel Eric's hard, sculpted body pressed to the side of me as I slowly drank. He kept hold of my hand and whispered words of encouragement. Suddenly the taste of his blood seemed to sweeten and I found myself drinking more eagerly, even licking the bite's surrounding areas. I had no idea when to stop so I kept going until the wound was healed and the well was dry, so to speak.

"Are you okay?" he asked me, pulling his wrist away when I had finished. "How do you feel?"

He put his long arm around me and rubbed his hand up and down my arm in a comforting gesture. His genuine concern, coupled with his unsolicited blood donation, simply overwhelmed me.

"I'm… I'm okay. Just a little surprised by the whole experience, I guess," I said. "I don't feel any different, though. At least not yet."

"You will feel the effects soon enough. Trust me," he said, smiling.

"Thanks, Eric. That was… generous of you." And it was.

"You are most welcome. I hope this brings you what you need," he said quietly, and he continued to rub my arm.

I turned to him and kissed him on the cheek to show him my appreciation. He didn't seem surprised by my gesture. He then turned to me and gently placed a tender kiss on my lips, much like the one I supposed Angela had experienced. It was sweet and perfect but not sexually charged at all.

I tried to lean my head on his much-taller shoulder and he slumped down to let me do so. We quietly sat like this, his arm still around me. At one point I discreetly pinched my thigh to make sure that this was really happening to me. How did I get so lucky?? I told myself that neither of us had any reason to feel guilty about the events that had just transpired. I hoped that my conscience would agree.

I wished for more time to simply savor this peaceful moment. But time was not something either of us had the luxury of enjoying right now. As much as I hated to, I wriggled out of our comfy embrace.

"I hate to eat and run, Eric, but it's getting late. And I _really_ need to get those fortune cookies. Make yourself at home," I said before I left him sitting alone on my couch.

Less than an hour later I had returned with six jumbo bags of fortune cookies from the Jade Garden restaurant. At first the manager had given me a hard time and refused to sell me more than just a few cookies. After much persuasion and flattery about his restaurant's _superior_ fortune cookies, he reluctantly agreed to sell me most, but not all, of his inventory. I could only pray that the one fortune I needed was somewhere in these monstrous bags.

I had scraped up every bit of cash I could find in my wallet and in the house, including my kids' piggy banks. Angela had also given me her cash on hand before she left so I wouldn't have to leave a credit card paper trail. Not surprisingly, Eric's wallet was still in the Sookieverse and not in New Jersey.

After hauling my cookies (literally) into the kitchen, I searched for Eric. I found him still sitting on my couch, now perusing All Together Dead. He told me he was interested in the Rhodes rescue effort provided by Sookie and that other telepath (Barty or Barry or Marty-- I always forget). But I thought he was more interested in the rescue effort concerning Pam and him. Or maybe he wanted to read about the fated blood bond with Sookie. I wisely kept my speculations to myself.

"I guess we're set to start opening fortune cookies," I said to Eric with mixed feelings. "What's the best way to do this?"

"I will help unwrap them for you but I am certain _you_ must be the one to open each cookie if this is to work." Big IF.

We both moved into the kitchen and Eric seemed impressed by the enormous amount of cookies I had purchased.

"Any problems getting these?" he asked curiously.

"No, not really. I should have come up with a better reason why I wanted them, though. I may not be a telepath but I could tell the manager thought I was peculiar," I said. "There are still more cookies at the restaurant that he wouldn't sell me. If none of these work, we'll have to figure out how to get more, somehow. Perhaps there is a company contact name on the bags." It was strange how practical and business-like I sounded. Very unusual for me. Hmm.

We both sat down at the kitchen table and I ripped open the first bag, watching its contents spill into a cellophane mountain in front of us. It was a sugar lover's dream.

Eric started tearing off the wrappers at vampire speed and before I knew it, I had a large pile of unwrapped cookies before me. The sweet smell of them was intoxicating. I had never noticed their powerful scent before. Hmm.

I tried to ignore the cookie aroma and started breaking them open to read. If I managed to find the 'magic' fortune, I assumed Eric would simply poof away, back to the Sookieverse. It was an odd feeling, not knowing at which moment he might suddenly disappear.

I read the first one: _A journey must begin with a single step._

I hate when it's more of a statement like that and not really a prediction. Why call it a 'fortune' if it's merely some half-baked advice?

And the next one:_ The time has come to allow your heart to guide you._

That was a little better. At least it sounded more like a fortune.

"Do not take the time to read each one," Eric reminded me. "The last time it worked simply by opening it, remember?"

How could I forget? I was looking at the living proof before me. But he was right. At the rate I was going, it would be Book _20_'s release date before I finished opening all of them. I sped up the cracking process.

We continued in a comfortable silence, Eric unwrapping cookies and me breaking them open. I would look back up at him every so often to confirm he was still there. We went through the first two bags like this and then moved on to the third one. My kitchen was a complete mess by now.

As we continued, though, I started to feel differently. More awake and alert. Energetic and jumpy. Ready to clean the house at a moment's notice. And something else, too.

_Horny_.

I found myself eager to jump across the endless wrappers and cookies separating us to straddle Eric right where he sat, wedding vows or not. Damn, his blood was powerful! If vampires felt these urges all of the time, how did they ever get anything done?

I tried to control myself by making conversation. I can handle my desires, I told myself.

"So…," I began. "What will you tell Sookie when you return? How will she ever believe any of this?"

"I will explain and tell her the truth. I always do," he said.

"Really? I mean, I'm _sure_ there are things you don't tell her, right? Things you haven't been open about with her…"

Like your feelings, maybe?

"I may not tell her everything I know, but what I do tell her is true." Well, that was a tricky statement. I wonder what Sookie would think about that.

We looked at each other across the mountain of fortune cookies, saying nothing. I was wondering if telling Sookie that a New Jersey housewife drank her bonded's blood was such a good idea. I was also wondering how Eric's hard body would feel under mine if I attacked him right now.

How was I going to maintain my willpower any longer around this sexy vampire? His blood was driving me wild!

Could he tell? Thankfully, Eric continued the conversation, distracting my oversexed mind for the moment.

"I noticed the framed wedding picture of you and your husband. You make a handsome couple," he said politely.

Well there's nothing like mentioning my husband to help cool down my sexual desires. It worked like a charm.

"Yes, that was ages ago, when Michael had more hair and I was young, thin and beautiful," I half-joked.

"You are still a beautiful woman, Jennifer. And personally, I have always preferred curvy, more _mature_ women," he said with a sexy grin. His fangs had even come down.

I looked down and kept working on my cookie pile, so Eric wouldn't see the blush rising in my cheeks. Damn, he was so charming. And I didn't believe a word he said—he was just being flirty and a kind guest, telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. But I decided to be gracious and accept his compliment.

"That's nice of you to say, Eric," I replied, looking up.

And when I looked across the kitchen table, he was gone.

My heart skipped a beat and I rummaged through the recently broken cookies until I found a paper with the same matching fortune as earlier: _Your wish will be fulfilled._

**************

That was over a week ago and I still have a hard time believing this really happened to me. I won't bore you with the details of how I managed to clean up countless fortune cookies and their wrappers before my husband and kids returned home. But I did manage it; and when Michael stepped through the door at 7:00, he was none the wiser.

Angela and I agreed to keep last Monday's strange events at my house a secret between us girls. Who would ever believe us, anyway? And I decided _not_ to tell Angela about drinking Eric's blood—I thought it might lead to some jealousy on her part, since all she got from him was a chaste kiss. A nice enjoyable kiss, as I can attest to, but still just a kiss. Nothing _that_ special.

But the blood Eric gave me really _is_ something special. I have more energy than ever before and have finally started an exercise routine. I have more self-confidence and feel younger and more attractive. But most importantly, my libido is finally up and running again. To be honest, it's a good thing Eric poofed out of my kitchen when he did. I'm not sure how much longer my willpower would have held.

How long will these wonderful effects last? Who knows? I'm just trying to enjoy the benefits of my 'thank-you gift' while I still can. In fact, I practically raped my husband the evening that Eric left New Jersey. Michael still can't understand my sudden sexual drive and big lust for him, but he's certainly not complaining. And neither am I.

Just like everyone else, I am anxiously waiting these final few weeks until the release of Dead and Gone. I'm not too worried anymore about Sookie not surviving. She is the main character, after all. And I heard that Charlaine Harris has a contract for at least another book or two, which is good news. Besides, since the first part of my 'reverse' wish came true, I have no doubt that the part about the HEA for Sookie and Eric will come to pass as well. The Eric lovers of the world should thank me for that.

I wonder how things will turn out when Eric returns to his world. What will be the outcome of the Fairy War? Will Eric make it back in time to be the one to rescue Sookie? Will Sookie be understanding when Eric explains where he was? Will _my name_ appear in the next book when they finally have that conversation?! I know Eric wants to be truthful with Sookie, but he certainly doesn't need to tell her _everything_ that happened here in Jersey, right?

Most people would agree that I got the excitement I was craving for when I made that birthday wish. Yet, I can't help but feel a little melancholy whenever I see my empty couch or kitchen chair and remember the beautiful Viking who once occupied them. I may not have naked pictures, but I do have some very pleasant memories of a long day spent with a _real_ vampire. And those should keep me going for quite some time.

FIN


End file.
